R-E-S-P-E-C-T

not just a song by Aretha Franklin.....I wish people would respect others more. When I deal with people I try to have a little respect for their point of view and their feelings. But I am beginning to see that people don't really have the same respect for me. It is almost like you want your feelings to be taking in count but fuck mine.
There is guy who I always considered to be my friend. In the last year I have realized that maybe that title was a little misplaced. I began to reconsider my relationship with him. Our relationship was so one sided. I am always there when he needs me...going above and beyond the call of duty. But what does he give me in return nothing. Nothing at all......so I decided that was not the type of person that I wanted in my life. So i just decided to distance myself a bit. Let the relationship run it course and crash off the cliff... :-) But today he left me a voice mail message and he told me over the phone that he really appreciated me and loved me more than I would ever know....BLAH...BLAH....BLAH
That got me to thinking....ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. U can tell somebody that you care and appreciate them but if u treat them like shit...what do u really mean? I am firm believer that actions speak louder than words. U can say all day how u feel about someone but what do u do when the rubber meets the road. Are u there when I need? That is the true marker of a friend. to love u during the good and the bad. Maybe he wasn't my friend and that is a hard lesson to learn but I had to learn it........

Two Weeks

So It has been two weeks since I have talked to ****. I am actually doing ok with it. Not quite sure why he hasn't called me. But a part of me is really glad. I was losing myself and doing things that I don't usually do. I have never knowingly been the other woman. I can see how u get caught up in that now. Oh well. What can I say. I am glad that I am doing better. I needed to let that go and sometimes just making a clean break is the best way to do it. I can't believe that I got caught up. But I have learned a lesson. I am getting better at letting go of people and situations that are not going to be beneficial for me. I mean I think that has been my biggest problem. I get lonely and I take whatever attention I can get. That is who most of my past relationships have gone. I ignore the obivous signs taht this person is not the one for me and I try to make the best out a bad situation. Not anymore. I can not afford to give emotional vested in crappy situations anymore. For the first time a long time I am going to appreciate being single. I am not doing anything holdign out on me getting married. I am going to travel and enjoy my house and my friends and my family and not worry about the future and what might happen...It is kinda liberating.... :-)

Another Day...Another Dollar

I need a change I think....I am getting frustated with alot of things. I love the people at my job but I am not challenged at all. And it is beginning to effect my work and that is not good.
I frustrated with some of the people in my life. I am frustrated because I am having a cash flow problem right now....I am tired of being frustrated.... All I can do is smile....... :-)

Why Me???

I feel like Nancy Kerigan at the Figure Championships and she got wacked on the leg....WHY ME????

Why me? Why is there something wrong with every dude that I meet? I mean this is getting a little ridiculous and I not talking minor defection. I talking manfacture recall defective. It is really become a like annoying. Especially since I do nothing to meet these guys. Ex. I went to PlayDate Atlanta this weekend. Only because my friend and I really wanted to play Monopoly. NOt to meet anyone but to get a good Monopoly game going.... Well I sort meet this guy who went to my high school but not while I was there. He is older....He looked familar and I couldn't figure out where I knew him from. He gave me his card and his names looked real familiar and I was thinking maybe I have just seen it somewhere....Low and behold...I knew him from work....I work in the Criminal Justice System............In lies the problem...... and he would have be a good liar because he does not seem to be the type to have criminal justice issues (good job, degree, good sense) but I would have never known....I might just stay at home from now on.....