ok, it is just four more days before I can blow this Popsicle stand and I need the break.....But before I leave I have an issue
Why do people feel the need to tell u want to do with your life. I mean I think that I have made excellent choices in my life. I am educated, own my own home, car, and have decent credit. I have never been arrested or caused my parents one moment of grief. In fact my mother always says how thankful she is for my brother and I and how were never give her any problems. Still people feel the need to have to tell me what to do. And I am confused on why they feel the need to do that. I don't really need that. First off I have parents and they are who I go to for guidance. I don't need anyone my age or younger telling me how to live my life. Especially when nobody I know life is much better than mine is or who can give me any helpful advice.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
I love blogging
I am in love with this blogging thing now. So I have eleven days until my vacation. Gosh I need it. I am just going to lay on the deck of the boat and on the beach and chill....I can't wait. It is going to be awesome...I need to go to the library and get some reading materials for the boat....I am going to read and eat and just enjoy myself
I do have a few issues before I go. Sometimes I just don't understand people. I just don't....I am usually shocked and awed...(:-)) I thank my parents for instilling a serious work ethic in me. Now I think back to all the chores and the requirements that my parents had for my brother and I and now I understand. There was a method to there madness. I understand that no one can be so proud. I think that it has served me well.
I do have a few issues before I go. Sometimes I just don't understand people. I just don't....I am usually shocked and awed...(:-)) I thank my parents for instilling a serious work ethic in me. Now I think back to all the chores and the requirements that my parents had for my brother and I and now I understand. There was a method to there madness. I understand that no one can be so proud. I think that it has served me well.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
LIST
Ok so he hasn't called in two days....but for some reason I don't think that it is over. I have this sinking feeling that he is going to pop back into my world. This time I just have to be strong enough to say NO....we went through this once before. We did not talk for a month......no email, no text....nothing and then POOF...he came back.....Then he was real insistent about it....weird. I think it is the mood of his "main" relationship........Well I decided that I refuse to be the side chick....I am so much better than that. I am beginning to realize that even if he left his girl I refuse to be her in like a year or so...I am good. I want a good man.....so I decided to make a list... :-)
MY GOOD MAN
1. honest-number one....I can't be checking phones and all that stuff.
2. smart-I love intelligence. and not just book samrts but life smarts as well. So Sexy
3. a relationship with God- I know that I have a long way on my walk with JEsus. But it is a work in progress and I want my man to be on a simialr path.
4. a positive relationship with his Mom-not a Mama's boy but you can' hate the women that gave u life and truly love me.....Not going to work
5. Strong family values-My parents taught be certain things and I have a way I think a man should carry himself...I haven't completely found it yet
6. great sense of humor-al my friends will tell you that I am a nut and I need someone that can handle my humor ( sometimes it is really dry :-))
7. manly- I want a clean man but not a "metrosexual" I need you to get your hands dirty. and not be in the mirror longer than me
8. not the bruding quiet type but not a talker either. My dad always said that men don't talk to much especially on the phone to other men....tell tell sign of a problem
9. Great with money. My credit is good and yours should be too. At this age you need to own something (car, home, bicycle, something)
10. Career- Duffle bagging does not count. I am not trying to go to jail with your package in my house. I will rat you out. TRUST!!!!!
11. Generally cool person. Just someone that I would love to be with all the time
That is the beginning of my list....that was fun.........might need to revisit it from time to time.....
MY GOOD MAN
1. honest-number one....I can't be checking phones and all that stuff.
2. smart-I love intelligence. and not just book samrts but life smarts as well. So Sexy
3. a relationship with God- I know that I have a long way on my walk with JEsus. But it is a work in progress and I want my man to be on a simialr path.
4. a positive relationship with his Mom-not a Mama's boy but you can' hate the women that gave u life and truly love me.....Not going to work
5. Strong family values-My parents taught be certain things and I have a way I think a man should carry himself...I haven't completely found it yet
6. great sense of humor-al my friends will tell you that I am a nut and I need someone that can handle my humor ( sometimes it is really dry :-))
7. manly- I want a clean man but not a "metrosexual" I need you to get your hands dirty. and not be in the mirror longer than me
8. not the bruding quiet type but not a talker either. My dad always said that men don't talk to much especially on the phone to other men....tell tell sign of a problem
9. Great with money. My credit is good and yours should be too. At this age you need to own something (car, home, bicycle, something)
10. Career- Duffle bagging does not count. I am not trying to go to jail with your package in my house. I will rat you out. TRUST!!!!!
11. Generally cool person. Just someone that I would love to be with all the time
That is the beginning of my list....that was fun.........might need to revisit it from time to time.....
Monday, July 14, 2008
It is over!!!!!!!!
So it is over......it is over....and he didn't even care. He didn't even care. Sometimes I wonder if being with me is that awful. People leave and they don't even care. No one cares........ I think that is the part that hurts so much. I give and give. Lord..........I wish this will end. It is partly my fault. Actually it is totally my fault. I see how these things are going to end before they even begin. But the question that I have is why me. Why me? Why me? I generally mind my own business. I don't seek anyone out and I don't intentionally set out to hurt people. Why does this always happen to me. Gosh I was just minding my business...I didn't go out to meet anyone that night. But I met him and I liked him. I knew it was wrong. But it felt right. I thought we had a connection. But it is dangerous. He is with someone else. Where will that lead me, I asked....probably alone....So I keep my distance....Trying to keep things "approriate" But I didn't...I got weak....It was my fault....Today I tried to end it..........and all he can say is ok.......Ok.....like tomorrow he is not even going to care or think about me. His life is going to go on. He is still going to have what he loves...............and that leads back where I started....actually worst....because I have been hurt........What have I learned about this.....There has to be a moral in this fable.........I think that I see it. I have learned. I am going to make different choice in my next relationship. I need to make a change...........UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so tired of Love and Relationships............ :-(
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
LONG ABSENCE!!!!
Ok I have completely stopped blogging for like eight months....but I am back!!!!!!!! :-)
So I have a situation and I will probably need a lot of help. I met a guy......which is not really big news........but what if he is THE guy...... I really like him and it is more than just how he makes me feel. But it is like we are on the same wavelength. We met randomly about five months ago. I actually saw him before he saw me and I was like " I HAVE to Meet him"..... so of course I had to myself in his path. That first night and actually the whole weekend was so cool. I was like WOW....but of course there is an hitch....he has a girlfriend........I keep telling myself......so she is not a wife.....but still how can ignore the obvious. She exists. So I decided just to chill and not to expect to much and not to call him and all that stuff and especially date other people. So it seemed to work while.....but low and behold......I really like him and when we are together it is nothing else in the world like it. So I decided to pull back a little bit. But we have talked a total of 6 hours in the pass two nights........:-( Something has to give for real.........
So I have a situation and I will probably need a lot of help. I met a guy......which is not really big news........but what if he is THE guy...... I really like him and it is more than just how he makes me feel. But it is like we are on the same wavelength. We met randomly about five months ago. I actually saw him before he saw me and I was like " I HAVE to Meet him"..... so of course I had to myself in his path. That first night and actually the whole weekend was so cool. I was like WOW....but of course there is an hitch....he has a girlfriend........I keep telling myself......so she is not a wife.....but still how can ignore the obvious. She exists. So I decided just to chill and not to expect to much and not to call him and all that stuff and especially date other people. So it seemed to work while.....but low and behold......I really like him and when we are together it is nothing else in the world like it. So I decided to pull back a little bit. But we have talked a total of 6 hours in the pass two nights........:-( Something has to give for real.........
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